Stop watching p0rn; Start doing the real thing

I had made a presentation at the Barcamp Mumbai 9 on “How I stopped watching p0rn and other *kinkiness*”. Although, some part of the presentation was about me and how I stopped watching p0rn; the other part were some insights and parallels I drew which I thought had a much larger appeal. So, I thought it would be interesting to make a post out of it for the people who are still mas+urbating while watching p0rn and also for industry veterans who may find it amusing. I don’t want you to believe that insights I talk about are totally new, in fact a lot of them are over-repeated but still k1nky at the same time.

For the uninitiated, I am using some words interchangeably, some of it is intended and the rest is when I’m going with the flow.

If you are still clueless here is a quick look-up sheet for you:

• p0rn = startup, startups etc.
• k1nky = startupsy
• d1ck = funding
• ba11s = revenues
• fcuk = hack
• mas+urbate = fascinate

P.S: Please use your imagination for the rest.

3 things to know if you watch p0rn:

Considering you are reading this (here) you can’t deny that you don’t watch p0rn. Now that we know that you do, here are some pointers you should always keep in mind while you do so.

1. What you see is not how it's really shot
People cook-up stories; or let me say this that the media loves to cover rags to riches; small town to making it big; overnight success. I don’t blame them but everything that you see on TV and read online is not the whole story. Large part of it is packaged and selectively highlighted.

2. *Big d1cks* & *Big ba11s*
Funding and acquisition news stories are the holy grail of the *startup times*. I would remember reading countless articles about startups raising funding, personal experiences of founders and loads of howto’s but the truth is that it is not the be all or end all of the startup journey. People who know this also know that they are not in it for the want of funding or just revenues (use the lookup dictionary here). Keep in mind that both are simply a means to build something to last. While I leave you with this thought, I probably want you to ponder about the new found fascination for *Small d1cks* & *Big ba11s* :)

3. 0rgasms are over-rated; pain is TRUE
How much ever I say that I love working in this job and how satisfying this job feels – there have been times when it’s been really painful. Sometimes more than painful it’s will be depressive. So, get yourself ready for the pain and the depressions and disappointment if you decide to do it.

If you are still watching p0rn and mas+urbating that one day you will feature in a movie of your own then STOP it. Believe me, mas+urbation will not get you too far because it’s nowhere close to the real thing. If you ask me the best time to start this journey was yesterday; if you missed it start today but don’t and I really mean don’t wait for that tomorrow.

STOP watching and START doing!

1. Keep h00king with other *perverts*; they are everywhere!
Today companies are acquiring startups not for the business idea that they are working on but for the team that is working on the business idea. Being at the place you are (alone), you will not be able to simply buy talent cheap – you can only partner with it. Where and how will you find the talent that you want to achieve your startup idea is a question you need to answer for yourself. Colleges, workplace, orgys (BarCamps, Startup Saturdays), showcases (proto.in, unpluggd) and Fcuk fests (Hackathons like #piHackthon, Codecamps and Startup weekend) is where you get a chance to form you’re A-team; don’t miss it!

The co-founders and the team for all the projects/startups I have worked on have been from either my college, the startup that I worked for or someone I met through above mentioned orgys and fcuk fests. So, I only have two words for you, “Suit up!” and this time around wear the most k1nky of your suits.

2. Don't shy away from going indie; star in your own HomeMade / MMS
Nothing better than learning to walk by falling numerous times. Considering you are still starting up people wouldn’t even mind if you are crawling on all your fours. It’s an advantage and don’t worry to come across as most non-sensical person around; you can get away as long as you are honest with yourself. People will see it and appreciate it; believe me “True Story”.

Personally, I have made the strongest of connections with others while I was busy working on my own HomeMade clips.

3. Be part of a p0rn film
Work at a *good* startup with a smart crew if nothing else works. You are bound to benefit from the experience of seeing what all goes in to make a p0rn film. It’s also one of the best places to find your A-team; don’t miss that opportunity.

Before I leave you convinced or not so convinced of starting your foray into the p0rn industry let me leave you with some holy-grail of p0rn industry advice you will receive while you are at it. A lot of it is common sensical but definitely not something you can assume to fall in place.

5 things people will vouch for in the p0rn industry

1. Choose a *professional* crew not *thurkeys*
Team is critical and many a times fatal.

2. Good forep1ay is key
Vetting the idea is as important as the real deal.

3. Size of your d1ck doesn't matter
Funding is not everything; but it’s essential in one way or the other.

4. Having ba11s is important
Revenue will keep you going so don’t ignore it.

5.Search for the G-sp0t is what keeps everyone busy
Finding the sweet spot is key; do what you love and love what you do.

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P.S:

In the spirit of the post, here is a brief p0rn profile about me. I am a wanna be p0rn star and have two HomeMade movies to my credit. Currently, I’m making my third one with a bigger crew and some producers. I would love to hear back from you. H00k up with me @ak47surve or tweet with hash tag #p0rn (note: p - zero - r - n) if you want to take part in an 0rgy on twitter or here on LinkedIn.

P.P.S: Here is the full presentation that I had made at Barcamp Mumbai