Originally published in the January 2005 issue of Esquire. To read every Esquire story ever published, subscribe today.
People say I'm the ultimate California girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian.
Come on, people! It's never what it seems.
My grandfather was a healer from Finland. My real last name is Hyytianen. He changed it to Anderson when he came to Canada. All of his brothers changed their names, too, so I have a feeling that maybe something bad happened in Finland.
My breasts have a career. I'm just tagging along.
I'm a soccer mom. I'm T-ball, soccer, karate, homework, keeping them on their schedules. I love being the snack mom, when I get to bring the cut oranges. I have one of those coolers with wheels. I'm at every game, every practice, sitting on my blanket. I love it.
I had kids to raise them myself.
I'm kind of proud of myself. I've been able to keep a certain grace about me, even in the times of disgrace and craziness.
Baywatch was a great show. It was completely mindless. You could turn it on in any language and still be entertained. You could turn it on halfway through an episode and still enjoy it. Now that's entertainment.
Are you kidding? Of course there's a red bathing suit in my new clothing line.
You'd think that my fans would be the guys who are too drunk to turn the channel after football. But surprisingly, from all the demographic research that people have done on me, we've found out that I have a huge female following. It's a girl-girl type thing.
Eventually you just have to realize that you're living for an audience of one. I'm not here for anyone else's approval.
In order for a man to feel whole, he needs someone to look up to and someone to look up to him.
Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror.
The best decisions you ever make are usually the ones you make even when everyone else says not to do it.
Yes, Hef's sleeping with them all. For real! I've actually walked in on him. See, one time I was over at the mansion with some friends. We were swimming in the grotto, and I decided to walk around the house a bit. As I was walking around, I ran into one of the girls. And she's like, "Come upstairs." So I went upstairs, and there's Hef on the bed. There's baby oil, there's toys flying every which way, there's all these girls naked. It was like watching a movie. I was standing in the doorway just looking—for a really long time. And finally I realized they were all looking at me! I realized, Okay, this is really happening. And then I heard this voice from downstairs. It was [photographer] David LaChapelle. I heard him calling my name. And it kind of snapped me back to reality. I ran back downstairs.
Rock stars are like prophets. There's something about somebody who can get up on a stage and sing. And then when they write you songs, forget it, okay?
You know when a prayer is answered.
My doctor says, "You have hepatitis C." And I go, "Okay, how do I get rid of it?" And he's like, "You can't. This is what you're going to die from." I was in the middle of shooting VIP; I didn't know what to do. This wash came over my body. And then the doctor says, "Do you know how you got it?" I said no. And he said, "Your husband never told you he had it?" It kind of threw me for a while. Obviously, it's a hard thing to tell someone, but I wish he could have had the nerve to tell me. Obviously, his ego was more important than my life.
Sometimes sex gets in the way of a relationship.
My best friend has been my best friend for twenty-five years. She works for the DMV in Canada and has this very normal life. She's beautiful. And she has the same problems that I do; it's just all relative. Like, she works in an office. Sometimes, if someone else says something about her, she's just devastated. And me, I might be in a tabloid or something. But she goes through the same feelings I do. She'll be like, "This girl in the office did this horrible thing to me!" And I'll be like, "Did you see The Enquirer?"
I'm not telling what I'm obsessed with.
I don't know if you can call me an artist or not, but I feel like I've created my life day by day. It wasn't, like, this whole plan: I'm going to conquer the world. I've been blessed with opportunities in Hollywood. I've made a career out of it somehow. I don't even really know how I did it.
Love never goes away; it just changes form.
Time passes, shit happens, you do the best you can. We put so much drama into everything. You gotta remember to breathe.
