Royal Cousin Catherine Oxenberg Recalls First Time Meeting the Queen: 'You Couldn't Not Admire Her'

"Although, she's a symbol of permanence, part of me can't really wrap my head around that she's gone," the actress and daughter of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia tells PEOPLE

ASCOT, UNITED KINGDOM - JUNE 19: (EMBARGOED FOR PUBLICATION IN UK NEWSPAPERS UNTIL 24 HOURS AFTER CREATE DATE AND TIME) Queen Elizabeth II watches her horse 'Fabricate' run in the Wolferton Stakes on day 1 of Royal Ascot at Ascot Racecourse on June 19, 2018 in Ascot, England. (Photo by Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images); BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 19: Catherine Oxenberg attends the 32nd Annual Colleagues Spring Luncheon at Beverly Wilshire, A Four Seasons Hotel on April 19, 2022 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images)
Photo: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty; Phillip Faraone/Getty

Catherine Oxenberg has a fond memory of the first time she met Queen Elizabeth.

Through her mother, Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia, Oxenberg, 60, is related to the royal family via her grandmother, Princess Olga of Greece and Denmark, who was Prince Philip's first cousin. The actress and author is now sharing her memories of meeting with the Queen, who died in her Scottish home of Balmoral Castle at age 96 on Sept. 8.

"Although she's a symbol of permanence, part of me can't really wrap my head around that she's gone," Oxenberg tells PEOPLE.

As she recalls, "The first time I went to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace was with my mom. I can't remember how old I was — ten, maybe. I was very nervous. And I remember my mom trying to teach me to curtsy, which I wasn't very good at. And I said to my mom, 'What do we talk to her about? She's the Queen, I don't know what to talk to her about.' "

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"She said, 'Just talk to her about dogs and horses.' And so that's what I did in my very young way. And then years later, I'm watching season one of The Crown, and there's this scene, and she says to the person who's with her, she says, 'Why does everybody only talk to me about dogs and horses?' And I died laughing, because it's like, well, that's what my mom told me to do."

While the actress is best known for playing Amanda Carrington in the 1980s primetime TV soap Dynasty, she has also portrayed Princess Diana in the biographical dramas The Royal Romance of Charles and Diana (1982) and Charles and Diana: Unhappily Ever After (1992).

Years later, in 2018, she wrote a memoir Captive: A Mother's Crusade To Save Her Daughter From a Terrifying Cult about her mission to get her daughter, India, out of Nxivm.

Catherine Oxenberg as Princess Diana
hrysalis-Yellen Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock; Alamy

Oxenberg says that life inside a royal family is always more complex behind the scenes.

"It's intriguing," she shares. "You're a public servant. It looks glamorous from the outside, but having kind of witnessed it from the inside, you live in a fish bowl."

Oxenberg believes the Queen's life of dedicated service as the longest-reigning British monarch and her 70-year-long reign is a powerful example to future generations.

"What I love about the Queen is she never retired," says Oxenberg, the mom of three daughters. "She was completely committed to her job. She sort of symbolized that. She was fully embodied in her queenship, unapologetic about her power, which I think is a wonderful symbol for every woman."

"May we all ascend to our queenship. So that in itself, I think, is a beautiful kind of archetype. You couldn't not admire her," she continues.

queen elizabeth
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Oxenberg's mother, Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia – whose full name is Elizabeth Karageorgevich, and who is a second cousin of King Charles — also shares her remembrances with PEOPLE about Queen Elizabeth.

"The Queen always exuded an aura of regal calm, which was reassuring, as well as inspiring respect. Somehow she kept herself at a slight distance and seemed a bit remote. It felt good to admire the way she conducted herself for so many years without any desire or need to judge her," she says.

"It seems hard to accept the passing of someone who seemed so permanent," Karageorgevich continues. "Her existence was like a steady beacon in the turbulence of modern life."

On Saturday, Buckingham Palace announced that the late monarch will be honored with a state funeral on Monday, September 19 at Westminster Abbey in Central London. It will be the first time a monarch's funeral has been held at Westminster Abbey since the 18th century.

The funeral will be followed by a committal at St. George's Chapel in Windsor — where the Queen's parents, sister Princess Margaret and beloved husband Prince Philip are laid to rest.

The Queen's coffin is currently lying at rest in the Ballroom at Balmoral Castle, where family members and royal household staff have been paying their respects and quietly remembering the late Queen.

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