How Instagram Helped One Woman Fall In Love With Her Vitiligo

High school wasn't easy for Ash Soto. When she was younger, she was happy, outgoing, and charismatic—and she loved to be outside in the warm weather of her Florida hometown. But things started changing as she grew up. When Soto was 12, she noticed a spot of discolored skin on her neck. She didn't think anything of it—writing it off as a sunspot—but when a similar spot appeared next to it months later, her mom took her to see a dermatologist.

Those spots turned out to be vitiligo, a skin condition that causes white patches to appear all over the body. Vitiligo occurs when someone's immune system starts destroying their melanocytes (the cells that produce pigment). The condition isn't contagious or dangerous, and its causes are largely unknown. Most vitiligo treatment focuses on evening out the skin color between patches, and can involve medication, skin grafts, or tattoos.

Because of this, Soto spent much of her adolescence hiding her body, afraid to go outside. She developed social anxiety, lost friends, and constantly worried about not fitting in with her classmates. But now—just a few years later—Soto is 21, and she feels more comfortable in her skin than ever before. While part of her newfound body positivity is thanks to personal growth and maturity, she attributes a lot of her strengthened confidence to Instagram—where she regularly uploads selfies celebrating her unique skin and empowering her followers.

"In the beginning, my Instagram was just about makeup," Soto, 21, tells SELF. "I would just post selfies of my face—that was it—because I was afraid to put myself out there." But earlier this year, Soto decided to take a risk. For the first time ever, she posted a picture revealing her vitiligo, and she braced herself for the negative comments. "They say your body is a canvas, I'm just painted differently," she wrote in her caption. "Finally at a point in my life where I can say I love the skin I'm in...I hope this post inspires all girls to be comfortable with themselves and their bodies, because everyone is beautiful and unique."

But the response she got was overwhelmingly positive. Her followers left her uplifting comments and messages, and they shared her photo across the social media site. Soon enough, Soto's Instagram following had multiplied. "It just blew up," she says. "I couldn't believe that something I was hiding for so long would be OK to people." But it was, and her followers' encouragement motivated Soto to keep posting. "In all my pictures, I try to put myself out there with each caption," she says. "It's not just about posting—I try to say a little story or something I've been through in each post."

A few months ago, Soto started doing something she calls "Marker Chronicles." She grabbed a marker and traced the lines of her vitiligo—turning her skin into a beautiful work of art. "It's like having natural tie-dye," she wrote in her first Marker Chronicles post. "Sometimes I think my vitiligo is painted on like a map from another dimension," she followed up in her second. Once again, the encouragement rolled in. "I started getting so many messages of people doing the same thing," Soto says. "It was so eye-opening and exciting for me that people were actually doing this...To this day, I still can't believe I have the following I have just for putting myself out there and trying to inspire other girls to feel comfortable."

And that desire to promote self-love is really what drives each of Soto's posts. "I remember back when I was really young—you know when you're in middle school, you try to fit in with the crowd," she says. "I wasn't fitting in. People made fun of me to the point where I would cry myself to sleep every night." Soto says she often wore sweaters and long pants all the time—even in the middle of the hot Florida summer—to keep her vitiligo a secret. "I'd go outside, and I think everyone was staring at me," she says. "I pretty much didn't want to do anything." Her depression got so bad she even contemplated suicide. "I just didn't want to be in the skin that I was in," she says.

But one day, she began to accept the fact that her vitiligo was a permanent part of her. "I started realizing, 'Well, I'm gonna have this for the rest of my life—why should I hide myself forever?'" she says. "We only have one life to live, and I feel like I should live it to the fullest. So I started doing little things." Soto would take out a piece of paper and write down three things she loved about herself each day. She stopped comparing herself to the seemingly flawless girls and women she was seeing on Instagram. She would look in the mirror and tell herself she was beautiful, and she started wearing shorts outside. "I started realizing that vitiligo is one of the most beautiful things—it's who i am," she says. "It's part of me."

Looking back, Soto wishes she could tell herself that things would turn out OK. "I was at a point where I hated myself," she says. "So I would tell myself that it will only get better as time goes on—that everything's going to be OK."

And that's the truth. These days, Soto says she can go outside and feel freer than she has in a while. "I can be myself," she says. "I walk with my head up high, and I don't care if anybody stares at me—it's OK." Soto says she wears what she wants, goes to the beach, and does all the things she loved to do before she developed vitiligo. And recently, she's even started making eye contact when she talks to people—which used to be a challenge for her. "Before, I didn't even want to look anyone in the eye," she says. "Now it's just completely different...It's been a total 180 from when I was 12 to now."

Soto's journey is an inspiring one, but she just wants to make sure she's passing the self-love on to others. "If you feel beautiful, that's what matters," she says. "No one can say anything if you feel happy with yourself."

See some of Soto's stunning Instagrams below.

Related:

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• Model Barbie Ferreira's Stretch-Mark Selfie Has Women Celebrating Their Bodies
• Here's Your Daily Reminder To Love Yourself Exactly As You Are—Yes, At Every Angle

Also: Aspiring Model Embraces His Skin Condition (Barcroft)