Fat Jokes
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214.9K votes
73.3K voters
- 128,546 VOTES
Yo Mama so fat
She wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled Taxi! - 233,418 VOTES
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. - 323,969 VOTES
Yo Mama
She took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "we don't do curtains." - 411,645 VOTES
Lipstick
Yo Mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. - 515,244 VOTES
Last Christmas
Yo Mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing. - 616,082 VOTES
Scale
Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued." - 711,079 VOTES
Judy
She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes. - 89,357 VOTES
Yo Mama
Once she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!" - 97,297 VOTES
Picture taking
Hey my friend, You are so much fat that when the family has their picture taken, you’re the background. - 105,564 VOTES
Japan
Yo Mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling, "Godzilla Godzilla!" - 116,303 VOTES
Bungee Jumping Mamma
Your Mama's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge! - 128,696 VOTES
Yo Mama
She got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack. - 136,226 VOTES
Yo Mama
So fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up! - 145,419 VOTES
Yo Mama
So fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass off me. - 154,924 VOTES
Fat lady is lying on the beach
A lifeguard approaches her and says, "Excuse me ma'am, could you please leave the beach?" The obese lady replies, "Why? What's wrong?" Well you see, says the lifeguard, "It's getting pretty late, and the tide wants to come in!" - 164,308 VOTES
Yo Mama
When she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her! - 173,789 VOTES
Yo Mama
The animals at the zoo feed her. - 182,987 VOTES
Famine
Two guys were walking down two different streets. They meet each other at an intersection and look at each other intently.
Fat man to the other: Seems like someone's been through a famine.
Skinny man replied: Now I know who caused it. - 193,578 VOTES
Biggest loser
He's so fat when they applied for the biggest loser tv show. They said, "sorry, there's a weight limit." - 202,514 VOTES
A man with a cork
One day in the locker room, Bob sees a fat man with a cork in his ass. Curious, he asks the fat man how it got there. "Well," says the fat man, "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke and this great magnificent guy in a turban came rolling out, it said, I am a genie.
For releasing me I can grant you one wish? And I said, 'No s**t!'"
- 212,544 VOTES
Weighing
If weight is a number, then mine is unlisted. - 222,009 VOTES
You know you're fat when...
The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. You know the true meaning of the word plus-size. You can't see your feet without sitting down. - 232,153 VOTES
Diet
A fat lady says to Big Bertha, "I have had it with dieting... I lost two pounds last week and nobody noticed." - 242,055 VOTES
Fat Pun
What is the difference between a skinny person and a fat person? The skinny person is a very lean and the fat person is very jell-ous. - 251,856 VOTES
At the beach
There's a huge woman lying on the beach, getting a tan. Later in the day, a lifeguard comes to her and says...
Lifeguard: Excuse me ma'am, but when do you plan to leave the beach?
Lady: Why? What's the matter?
Lifeguard: "Well, the thing is, it's pretty late in the evening and the tide wants to come in.