Dr. Evil’s Laser-Beam Agile

Dr. Evil’s Laser-Beam Agile

 

Dr. Evil’s Laser-Beam Agile

Dad, a lot has happened with technology since you have awakened from your cryogenic sleep. 

Scotty, do not lecture your Dad. I’m hip with the new "Valley" talk and I want to make an announcement to my evil squad. Going forward all software death rays will be built with "Agile". You will "do Agile", you will "do Agile" and you, over there, you too will "do Agile". We’ll be "doing" so much frikkin "Agile" that you’ll be "Agilin’" in your nightmares.

(scoffing), you don’t just "Do Agile", there’s more to it than "doing" it.

Scotty, do not lecture your Dad. I am well-versed in what it takes to "do Agile", I read 3 blog posts this morning and naturally am now an expert, my LinkedUP even says "Coach". Go look. "Doing Agile", Scotty, only requires 3 things. Take note.

  1. Number 1, We no longer will plan. Plans suck, forget about frikkin plans.
  2. Number 2, which reminds me I need my morning coffee, We no longer will do any design. Designs are so 1980s, where’s my Garbage Pail Kids?
  3. Number 3, We must quit testing.

That’s it! Get to work everyone. When I come back, there better be some serious "Agile doing" going on, or else you will be the new "laser" beam test subject.

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This is a preview of a blog post I'm drafting.  Anyone have similar experiences or observations?  Do you ever cringe when you hear someone say "We're doing Agile"?

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Kevin Winchester, Senior Product Leader & Agile Evangelist

kwwinchester@gmail.com 

I agree. Personally, I feel an organization needs to identify early adopters that are open to change, willing and ABLE to embrace and execute on these principles , to "lead the way" in sharing their learnings and support for such a mindset shift. I rarely see those embracing an agile mindset label it as "We are doing agile."

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Jeff Adams

Property Management and Business Owner

8y

Based on some of the recent testing I've seen, I agree!!

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Zach Werden

Principal Software Engineer | Scrum Master | Agile Coach

8y

Lol this is awesome! Maybe Dr. Evil can regurgitate the Agile Values, but when it comes time for action, what does he do? Spend months planning his next "laser beam"? Command and control his No. 2? Kill his employees with death pits under their chairs instead of discussing what they can learn from the failure?

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Jeff Siekman

Senior Technology Director over Fulfillment Services at Kroger

8y

Lol

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