Experts speak out on the art of the handshake
Bro-hugs may be fine for the bar, and fist bumps may replace high-fives. But in a boardroom and most other business settings, nothing has yet to oust the handshake — a firm, but not too firm, handshake at that.
The classic greeting has come under some scrutiny of late. Purell, which makes hand sanitizers, issued a report that two in five American adults have hesitated to shake hands with someone because they were afraid of germs.
The study also found that 55 percent of Americans would rather touch a public toilet seat than shake someone's hand after they've coughed or sneezed into it.
Meanwhile, a widely publicized fist bump by President and Mrs. Obama made the gesture go global.
But area business leaders and etiquette experts say the handshake is still de rigueur in most settings. Among the leaders is Kara Cupoli, director of student services for the MBA program at the University of Florida's Warrington College of Business Administration.
"In a formal business setting, the handshake is going nowhere in that it is an institution. It is an important part of culture and in a business setting, everyone is going to expect it. It has to be firm but not a break-your-hand grip," Cupoli said. "We don't see any movement where if you walk into a boardroom to have a serious meeting, that people are going to start fist bumping. Going into a job interview, the handshake is still the rule."
But not all handshakes are created equal.
Some are bone crushers, so hard that you feel like rushing to an orthopaedist afterward.
Some are so weak that you wonder if the person isn't going to collapse from anemia.
Then there is the ladyfingers shake — maybe a holdover from the era of cotillions when, with women, just the first two knuckles of the hand are grasped lightly.
Handshaking and gender can be awkward. While it has long been customary for men to shake hands, men shaking hands with women and women shaking hands with other women has become more common only in the last few decades as more women began working outside the home.
"It is perfectly OK for women to extend their hand to men before the man does," said Gainesville etiquette consultant Layne Sasser. "If they don't extend their hand, I would definitely extend mine first."
Sasser, who works with children, teenagers and adults, said the first thing she teaches is the proper handshake — appropriately firm, up once and down once with no excessive pumping, and eye contact throughout.
Brent Christensen, president and CEO of the Gainesville Area Chamber of Commerce, said fist bumps and elbow bumps started nudging into the greeting lexicon a few years ago when the H1N1 flu scare occurred. But the handshake is still tops, and the type of shake used matters.
"There is certainly an art to it," Christensen said. "There is a firmness that is expected, but you certainly don't want to break somebody's hand, you don't want to be remembered for causing pain and you don't want to be remembered as someone who didn't give a firm enough handshake. That may show a little bit of disinterest."
But the ultimate power couple of Gainesville business, developers Ken and Linda McGurn, are handshake rebels.
The McGurns say they have embraced fist bumps and use the knuckle knock frequently — especially in casual situations.
They have even adopted variations on the standard fist bump including some they have learned from friends such as the "lock and load" and the "butterfly."
Ken McGurn said he began switching when he had the flu and a doctor recommended against shaking hands.
"I just continued it," he said. "At a lot of cocktail parties people are doing it. They got used to me bumping."
Ken McGurn said he shakes hands with people he meets for the first time.
Linda McGurn said she shakes in formal situations but added friends are used to bumps now and automatically go to it.
"I'll shake hands if I'm at a business event. I probably shake more often because (the bump) seems stranger coming from a woman," she said. "We smile when we do it. The people who do it with us know, and they start laughing when they see us and do the bump."
Handshakes should be firm but not too firm. Handshakes that are too hard can indicate an overbearing nature while those that are too weak convey a lack of confidence. Eye contact should be made throughout the handshake. A lack of eye contact can indicate indifference. The handshake should be one upward movement and one downward movement rather than repeated pumping. The full hand should be used during a handshake, not just the first few knuckles of the hand. Both men and women should shake hands when first meeting and as a greeting. Women should feel free to extend their hand to a man first.