EX-Masturbator

I was introduced to masturbation in the 8th grade. During physical education, a male peer had gathered me and a couple other guys to an area outside on the track and field, sat us down in a circle on the grass, and shared with us the concept of what he called “jacking off.” I had never heard of that term before, so I didn’t know what he was talking about. I don’t think some of the other guys knew what it meant either. But our ringleader described in detail what would happen if we did it — How it would make our eyes roll to the back of our heads like The Undertaker and how it would make our toes curl under our feet like the Wicked Witch of the East after Dorothy’s house landed on her. He told us that if we’d try it, we’d love it. It was then, through my friend’s words, that the enemy planted a seed in me. And out of curiosity, I went home, and I believe it was that very day, I tried masturbation for the first time.

Now, I had been introduced to porn that year as well, so I knew what it was like for two people of the opposite sex to have intimacy with one another. But secretly, I was somewhat genophobic, meaning I had a fear of sexual relations. Despite many tempting situations and opportunities that were presented to me, I was afraid to have sex with a girl — not because I couldn’t find a girl who would want to have sex with me, but because it was an unfamiliar practice and I had never had intercourse before. Although I was not saved at the time, I knew better that you weren’t supposed to have sex outside of marriage. I was afraid of getting caught or getting in trouble by my mother. I was afraid that I would not do it the right way. I was afraid that it might hurt. I was afraid of contracting a virus or disease. I was afraid of getting her pregnant. I was embarrassed of the girl seeing me naked — I had low self-esteem because I wasn’t chiseled with the 6-pack, the firm chest or the biceps and triceps. I was afraid of the girl being disappointed in me because I wasn’t the same size as the other men I had seen in the porn videos. I didn’t want her to gossip to all of her girlfriends about the experience.

But if we don’t fulfill our lusts with fornication, it’s going to try to manifest itself in another way. Therefore, masturbation became an alternative method for me to gratify my lustful desires. After realizing that I could become intimate with myself through masturbation, I understood that I never needed to have a woman to get a “feel good” — which probably explains why I didn’t have too many girlfriends in my life. If I masturbated, I would never have to worry about being embarrassed by a girl seeing me naked, I would never have to worry about getting caught having sex by my parents, I never had to worry about getting a virus or getting a girl pregnant. When I learned how to use a condom, I never had to worry about getting my sheets pregnant either. Because of this, masturbation became a safe haven for me. It was my only means of “safe-sex” which eventually became a nine year profession — even pouring over into the 1st three in a half years I’ve been saved. And because lust is never-satisfying, I tried to force myself to go to deeper extremes of masturbation just to get the same level of gratification I had got the time before. Never happened. Despite the fact that masturbation was like an addiction to crack cocaine with temporary highs (a quick orgasm lasting less than a minute) and devastating lows (guilt, shame, drowsiness and self-condemnation), it was hard for me to stop. Just like an addict, I couldn’t get enough and I kept coming back for more.

MASTURBATION: What you don’t MASTER will MASTER you! And Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 not to let anything master you.

There’s a saying, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” Many CHRISTIANS have sadly accepted this motto. Many Christian men believe they cannot overcome masturbation, so instead of fighting it until they get their victory, they just give up, forfeit the battle and start justifying themselves for why they do it. People who live in sin will begin to DEFEND what they “think” they cannot DEFEAT.

God told Cain in Genesis 4:7 that if he does what is right, he will be accepted, but if he does not do what is right, sin knocks at his door and desires to have him. Then God told Cain to conqueror the sin that was at his door. He told Cain to master his temptations. We, as children of God, who have been called to HOLINESS, must master the sin in our lives as well.

But despite my daily convictions, I tried to deceive myself into thinking that masturbation was okay. My top ten justifications for masturbation was:

‎1. There’s no verse in the Bible that directly says I can’t masturbate. Genesis 38:8-10 don’t count!
2. I don’t know about God, but doctors say it’s healthy to release once in a while.
3. At least I’m not fornicating. As long as I don’t lust after somebody in my mind, I can masturbate.
4. I’m sure God is more displeased with “bigger sins” such as murder or homosexuality.
5. I know the Spirit is willing, but I just can’t help myself. The urge won’t go away unless I give in.
6. I won’t go all the way this time. As long as I don’t reach orgasm, it’s not considered masturbation.
7. I know I said it many times before, but this will be my last time. Then I’ll quit, I promise.
8. Well, God already knew I was going to do this anyways, so why not?
9. All sin is equal. I’ll just repent afterwards. God has to forgive me. The Bible says He’s faithful.
10. It really doesnt matter what I do. God still loves me. And His grace is sufficient for me.

The reason why I had so many thoughts running through my mind before I masturbated is because I did not have faith when I did it. If I had faith that it was okay, I would have done it without second guessing. But as it is, I was justifying myself. Because I was not fully convinced that my actions were giving glory to God, and yet I committed them anyway, I was operating in doubt. And according to Romans 14:23, if you partake in something out of doubt and not by faith, it is sin. Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” I’ve never known anyone who masturbated “in the name of Jesus.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able. But with every temptation, he will make a way of escape so that we can bear it. God would provide so many ways of escape for me when I was tempted to masturbate. He would have someone call or text me, but I would ignore the message and put the phone on vibrate. He would sometimes even have someone to knock on the door of my room to startle me. And although he was trying to provide a way out, I didn’t want to take the exit route, so I just slammed the door close in his face and barricaded myself in my mess. Soon enough, temptation turned into willful sin as stress, boredom, loneliness, depression, pornography and perverted and seducing spirits — that enticed my flesh — slipped me into a comatose state of mind. I knew that Christ shed his blood on Calvary so that I could be forgiven and walk away from my sins, but I wanted to reach ecstasy so bad, I was willing to spill my semen all over the Lord’s grace.

Although I was not having sex with another person, God showed me that I was still practicing adultery when I masturbated.

You may ask, “How could you possibly commit adultery if you’re not even married and if you’re only having sexual relations with yourself?” Well, spiritually, Christ is the groom, and we, the church, is His bride. God showed me that every time I masturbated, which is a SIN, I was committing adultery against Him — against holiness.

Romans 6:13 says, “Do not offer any part of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.” To offer up something is to make a sacrifice. So, to use the members of your body to masturbate is actually an act of worship to sin, which is wicked. But, to surrender your urges and desires to God as a living sacrifice, in order to remain holy and acceptable, that is true worship — that is the righteous thing to do. To masturbate is to cheat on God with sin. To deny yourself the guilty pleasure, however, is to stay faithful to your first love. Moral of the story: Only offer up the members of your body to your covenant husband, JESUS, and not to an outsider who only wants a one night stand with you, Sin.

As I began to stop relying on my own self-righteous will power to overcome, and instead, start sacrificing myself and my members to God as a living sacrifice, that’s when I began to get the victory over masturbation. The main scripture that helped me realize it takes God to stop is Zechariah 4:6, which says, “”Not by your power, nor by your might, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty.” I cannot overcome masturbation on my own, and neither can you! With man, it’s impossible. But with God, all things are possible (Mark 10:27). We must pray and stand our guard so that we may not fall into temptation; When our flesh is weak, the Spirit of God living within us is stronger (Matthew 26:41). We can do all things, not through ourselves, but through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). We are more than conquerors, not in and of ourselves, but through HIM who loves us (Romans 8:37). Greater is not us, but He that is in us, than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4). We have to stop trying to do it by ourselves, and rely on Jesus to help us.

Through Christ Jesus, we have authority and power over all demonic principalities, temptations and even over our own flesh. Sin knocks at our door constantly, but by God’s grace, we must choose to do what’s right and conqueror it (Genesis 4:&). Sin no longer has dominion in the members of our bodies, it is under our feet!

We can pray, fast, anoint ourselves with oil, confess our struggle with other believers, receive counseling and ask for prayer 24/7, but at the end of the day, when there is no one else there in the room but us and the temptation, we still have a decision to make! In order to overcome this sinful addiction, we must simply practice self-denial against the desire to masturbate and submit to holiness and God’s righteousness. Saying NO to ourselves will be easier when we rely on the Spirit of God to keep us. We have to want freedom. Until we get tired of falling into the same pattern of sin and then asking for forgiveness over and over again, then we will never quit. We have to get tired of sinning and grow disgust for the sin that’s been keeping us bound. And although the temptation to give in will be heavy, we have to fight it. And once we’ve done all that we can do, let us stand still, and watch God fight the battle for us.

Thanks be to God, that through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ’s death and bloodshed, my sins have been nailed to the cross! I am free, in Jesus name! And if you would just repent and believe, you can be free too!

Matthew 5:30
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.

Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.