So today for Whack-A-Doodle Wednesday I’m making a trip back to the wild and wacky world of Vagazzling only with a twist. It seems the men want in on this disco ball of genital fun. Yes, thanks to the Daily Mail (and who doesn’t thank them for their People Magazine brand of news), I was alerted to the latest fad of Pejazzling.

That’s right men, you heard me right! You can glitter your regulation hockey stick! Crystals on your disco balls just say festive fun! How about a tribal tattoo pointing towards your wedding tackle? I mean the ladies can get lost and nothing says “Hey, it’s right here!” like a zig-zag design in black Swarovski crystals.

What is wrong with people?! I don’t want to stick crystals on my kitty and I certainly don’t want my man sticking crystals on his candy! That is just wrong. Now I am sure there are attention whore men out there. These are the ones who think so highly of their Meat & Potatoes that they have to encrust it in bling like a Brittany Spears stripper pole. I think this means one of two things. Either you have a miniscule jimmy and you think it will be enhanced by the grill work or you really have a very low opinion of yourself and your best buddy, Though I suppose if you want to be “best dressed” at Rapture 2.5 – October, a glittery weenis could be a talking point with the rest of the Puritan pukes riding the rainbow bridge to the afterlife.

No one wants to see bright red rhinestone lips on your thigh, your stomach or your polish kelbasa. I just can’t imagine the glue they use to stick these stones on is all that stable. Hell, the crystals fall of my jeans if I just look at them wrong. I can’t imagine skin being a better sticking canvas than denim. I mean after a few days, those lips can look like a deflated balloon and that’s the image you don’t want next to your pet python.

Do me a favor men – don’t do this. Prove to the world that your brains don’t drain our of your ears when the blood rushes out and heads South for spring break.