What Queen Elizabeth Is Really Like — and What Her Friends Felt 'The Crown' Got Wrong

When it came to capturing Queen Elizabeth's storied life and record-breaking 70-year reign, royal biographer Robert Hardman kept coming back to the same simple notion: The Queen likes being Queen.

"It's not just about longevity or clinging on," the author, who spoke with dozens of friends, palace courtiers and insiders for his new book Queen of Our Times: The Life of Queen Elizabeth II, tells PEOPLE. "Yes, she's by far the longest-lived monarch in our history. She remains very much center stage, with an appetite and enthusiasm for the job. She really enjoys what she does."

Hardman's book comes at a tumultuous time for the 95-year-old monarch: She recently recovered from COVID—"She is very good at taking doctor's orders," he says—and she's dealing with personal issues within the royal family, including the death of her beloved husband, Prince Philip, last April and her son Prince Andrew's fall from grace.

Still, "those who know her well talk about her sense of humor and how she's a very upbeat and positive person," says Hardman.

It's a stark contrast to her dour portrayal on the Netflix hit The Crown, he adds: "A lot of her friends and close staff felt that [The Crown] showed her being miserable all the time. And that's just not how it is."

Despite family heartache, Queen Elizabeth "does personify the cliché 'Keep calm and carry on,' " he adds. "Even in the dark days, she is an optimist and soldiers on."

Another popular misconception? "That she's largely symbolic and just signs things and goes where she's told to and smiles," he says. "When you get behind the scenes of so many of these events, she does keep politicians on their toes."

And she recognizes the importance of evolving with the times.

"She lives in the present, reminiscing occasionally, when appropriate, but not as a habit," one former senior adviser told the author in his new book, out April 5.

"It is another key difference between Queen Elizabeth II and Queen Victoria," the author writes. "The latter loved to wallow in nostalgia, to surround herself with favorites and, in later life, to preserve the past in aspic. The present Queen prefers to move on. Whereas many of her family, including Prince Charles, are romantics at heart, the Queen is a realist."

As one senior adviser told Hardman: "She's determined to live in the present because she is animated by the electricity of the present."

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Above all, she is a steady constant in a constantly changing world.

"I don't think people will really realize until she's gone the extent to which she is just part of the national landscape," says Hardman. "She is such a reassuring figure. When you have moments of great uncertainty, there's that sense that the wheels aren't going to fall off, that the country will still be there tomorrow—as long as there's still a flag flying above Buckingham Palace."