How Tyrion Lannister uses 40 negotiation techniques in 4 minutes
From Zero to Hero
6 min readNov 6, 2018
There is a reason why everyone likes Tyrion Lannister. He is clever and witty. He is persuasive and knows people. Let’s have a look at what he does best: Negotiations
Plot: Tyrion meets Daenerys
Beware of spoilers, if you haven’t watched S05E07 of Game of Thrones
Jorah Mormont gives Tyrion Lannister to Daenerys Targaryen as a gift in the hope that she forgives him for his treason. Now, Daenerys wants to kill Tyrion, because of what Lannisters did to her family, but instead Tyrion convinces her to have him beside her as an adviser, in a 4-minute conversation. He uses at least 40 techniques, which I list below.
Negotiation Techniques
I use the 5W1H, or Six Ws (Who, What, Where, When, Why and How) to summarise his techniques:
- What matters to you: Tyrion knows what he wants. First, to save their lives, and then to act as Daenerys’ adviser.
- What matters to the other side: he has researched the other side to better understand their background, needs and interests. He attempts to meet their needs and preferences
- What to aim for: he aims for the highest justifiable position. As they say: “Go high or Go home”.
- When to stay silent: Tyrion waits, unlike Jorah who starts speaking and immediately gets interrupted by Daenerys. Tyrion also uses pauses for emphasis
- How to listen: He listens carefully to her arguments and doesn’t interrupt.
- How to minimise your weaknesses: Daenerys says, “If you are Tyrion Lannister, why shouldn’t I kill you, to pay your family back for what it did to mine?”. Being a Lannister in this situation is a weakness. He replies, “… I am the greatest Lannister killer of our time”.
- Who matters more: (or simply how to remember your own value) she asks, “So I should welcome you into my service?” he mirrors her phrase and then adds, “Into your service? We have only just met. It’s too soon to know if you deserve my service”
- Where to take the conversation next: Daenerys says, “If you’d rather return to the fighting pits, just say the word”. But he replies, “When I was a young man, I heard a story”
- What are the shared goals: he talks about shared goals, “He thought she was our best last chance to build a better world”
- Why do they need help: “Because you cannot build a better world on your own”, he says.
- How to exploit your strengths: he then plays to his strengths, “You have no one at your side who understands the land you want to rule, the strengths and weaknesses of the houses that will either join or oppose you”.
- How to use ingratiation: Tyrion shows his admiration and respect for Daenerys, “this girl without wealth, lands, or armies had somehow acquired all three in a very short span of time… He thought she was our best, last chance to build a better world”
- How to shift the scope: he cleverly shifts the scope of the negotiations to his advantage, from being killed to acting as her adviser.
- What to propose: he proposes a position and his commitment, “ I could do an even better job advising a ruler worth the name”
- What to expect: he expects commitment right after, “… if that is indeed what you are”
- What to focus on: Daenerys talks about her army and dragons, but Tyrion takes the lead by teaching her something she did not know (or did not take seriously), “Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing”
- Who is involved: Tyrion understands the people involved in the conversation. He knows their background, motivations and tendencies, and reasons about their past actions (e.g. Jorah’s)
- When to press ahead: he does so when he is in the right position, i.e. when she finally asks him to advise her on the Jorah’s case.
- What are their problems: she says, “I swore I would kill him if he ever returned… Why should the people trust a queen who can’t keep her promises?”
- How to redirect: He pauses and thinks, then redirects by saying, “he is no longer that man. I can’t remember ever seeing a sane man as devoted to anything as he is to serving you”. He simply convinces her that her assumptions are not valid anymore.
- How to adapt to changes: the conversation is constantly changing, from killing Tyrion to ruling Westeros and then to killing/punishing Jorah. Tyrion adapts to these changes immediately and responds appropriately.
- When to agree: Tyrion understands her point of view and agrees with her that Jorah has betrayed her, just before he starts to defend him, “I know”, “And yet he did betray you.”
- When to change your physical position: (or how to use your body language) he changes his physical position twice to get closer to Daenerys. Once after she asks him to advise her, and once after admitting that Jorah has betrayed her.
- What to say: he sticks to the facts, e.g. “You have no one at your side
who understands the land you want to rule”, “He worships you”, or “He did not trust that you would be wise enough to forgive him”. - How to say: he does not beg for their lives, but rather uses reason and logic, persuasive argumentation.
- When to use details: Tyrion focuses on details when necessary to lead the conversation, e.g. details about Daenerys’ past or details about Jorah.
- How to ask diagnostic questions: having admitted Jorah’s betrayal, Tyrion asks questions to understand the situation better, “Did he have an opportunity to confess his betrayal?”
- How to deal with their problems: Tyrion continues to show his problem-solving skills by asking another question, “And did he [confess]?”, and then by analysing the whole situation, i.e. why Jorah did not trust her with the truth.
- How to connect past and future: in all three cases (Jorah, himself and Westeros), Tyrion brings examples from the past but sells the future, e.g. “When I served as Hand of the King, I did quite well with the latter [politics]… I could do an even better job advising a ruler worth the name”
- How to start small: he starts by solving a small problem, Jorah’s
- What is fair: removing Jorah from the city is fair. They can all agree
- How to make a counter-proposal: “You are going to need to inspire devotion, a lot of it, if you’re ever going to rule across the narrow sea. But you cannot have him by your side when you do”, he says
- How to use anchoring: He uses the idea of not having Jorah by her side as an anchor. She then decides to remove Jorah from the city, instead of killing him
- How to use framing: Tyrion frames “not killing Jorah” as a way to avoid loss and gain more devoters in future (that may not necessarily be true), “A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires devotion”
- How to compromise: he is realistic. So, in his proposal, he compromises. He doesn’t ask her to completely forgive Jorah.
- How to keep respect: he treats the other party with respect.
- How to keep calm: Tyrion keeps his emotions under control, even when he receives a death threat.
- How to play the reluctant party: He does not look excited about the deal
- Who gets credit: Tyrion doesn’t care who gets credit for the deal. After all, she is the one who commands. She might feel that the final agreement / decision was all her idea
- Who should win: Tyrion negotiates towards a win-win outcome. He disarms the opposition by being sincere, stays positive and does not fight back. He gets what he wants by giving her what she wants. He also plants the seeds of hope in her mind by using phrases like “rule across the Narrow Sea” or “our best last chance to build a better world”
Which one is your favourite? Feel free to leave a comment below.
