Fail Again. Fail Better.
On the absurd repurposing of Samuel Beckett’s most famous quote.
The absurdity of Samuel Beckett creating a mantra for entrepreneurs, internet grifters and side hustlers would not, I suspect, be lost on him. What could be more post-modern than a fetid paean to failure being misinterpreted as a jaunty motivational quote to encourage the overworked and under-read employees of tech start-ups to ‘fail fast’ as a necessary stepping stone on the road to great riches?
Reading Worstward Ho, the story from which “Ever tried. Ever failed.” originates, it’s clear that Beckett wasn’t writing the story with much motivational intent. Optimism and hope are absent throughout.
“Sick of the either try the other. Sick of it back sick of the either. So on. Somehow on. Till sick of both. Throw up and go. Where neither. Till sick of there. Throw up and back. The body again. Where none. The place again. Where none. Try again. Fail again. Better again. Or better worse. Fail worse again. Still worse again. Till sick for good. Throw up for good.”
The story — as far as it can be described as a story — rattles along with a dark momentum, descending into manic incomprehension. What to make of this penultimate paragraph?
“What were skull to go? As good as go. Into what then black hole? From out what then? What why of all? Better worse so? No. Skull better worse. What left of skull. Of soft. Worst why of all of all. So skull not go. What left of skull not go. Into it still the hole. Into what left of soft. From out what little left.”
Good luck posting that on the wall of your cubicle and successfully finding any extra Monday motivation.
I’ve been thinking about failure a lot recently. Trying to run competitively in your 40s means you’re never far from the next disappointment, so I had a go at articulating a more realistic interpretation of the ‘fail better’ quote:
Fail squalidly, pathetically, hopelessly. Fail until your entire being carries the stench of bankruptcy, and what little ambition remains is compressed, like coal, beneath the crushing gravity of decaying inadequacy. Fail early and often, repeat the same mistakes, learn nothing. Fail better.
Failure isn’t an option, it’s the only game in town. And the sooner we come to terms with that, the sooner we can begin to enjoy whatever it is we’re trying to do for its own sake. Is this attitude depressing? Maybe. Does it free you up to do what you love without apology? I think so. Failure doesn’t need to be a productivity hack, or a stepping stone to unimaginable success, sometimes the doing alone is enough.
