Your Honor, I’d like to call all of my surprise witnesses again. — Lionel Hutz, “The Day The Violence Died”

Billed as the world’s heaviest twins, Billy and Benny McGuire (born McCrary) shrugged off the limits of their earthly vessels to become richer and more famous than you or I ever will aspire to. Weighing a mere five pounds apiece at birth, a dual case of German measles in their ‘tweens offset their pituitary glands and sent them into the weigh station camp, with each of them topping out around 800 pounds.

From there, the world was their oyster. Lucrative sponsorship deals came rolling in, including one from Honda:

We worked out a deal with Honda Motorcycle Company and rode mini-bikes from New York to L.A. Three thousand miles. We rode a hundred miles a day and it took us thirty days. I also had a deal worked out with Holiday Inn where we’d stay at night, and we’d ride into town and give autographs at a dealership for a couple hours. — Benny McGuire

Eventually, the twins used their impressive size and media sway to take the country (and Japan) by storm as a tag-team wrestling duo.

Unfortunately, the health problems that accompany such girth became too much to handle; Billy died in 1976 at age 32, with Benny passing on in 2001 (54 years is pretty good, actually—and he was the heavier of the two).